secret government agent: tell me right now, do aliens smoke weed
mulder: [tied to a chair in a dark room] i wont ever tell you this
secret government agent: *punches mulder in the face* what kind of weed do aliens smoke
mulder: *spits blood on the agent*
secret government agent: where can i buy this dank ass space weed
mulder: fuck you
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pie eating contest?
nah son free pie
my therapist taught me to start thinking of my anxiety as my panicky friend
this is so cute omg
Woah this is super useful!!
For all my anxious friends out there.
This totally works! Some of us get stuck in the sense that we *are* our emotions, so they overwhelm us and we can’t do anything about them. When you give your emotion an identity separate from you, it gives you the distance to make better judgments about it, and to comfort yourself better. 10/10 therapy veterans would recommend.
Needed this today.
The Art of Lying
everyone has that one text post that you suddenly remember and weirdly bark-laugh in the shower
You told me the name you chose was a promise. What was the promise?
We’ll finish what we started
So promise me that they’ll fall
DILLON FRANCIS: No one is allowed to touch my brand new box I just got….
11th doctor: haha…. got u good…. *dies*